Stonemarche vs. Carolingia

The Story Begins…

To all who would read this missive:

Reports have reached our most excellent ears that a shipment of sheep, sent by ship to our Cousins Endewearde, has gone astray. One of the spring storms blew the ship somewhere off the coast of Carolingia, where upon they were beset by pirates.The crew was already at their wits’ end, from dealing with damage from the storm and sheep (apparently transporting a hundred head of sheep by ship is not recommended) – since they could not put up much of a fight, the dastardly pirates left them alive.

Our Cousins Endewearde have been kind enough to extend us grace during this time, since the sheep were payment in exchange for numerous libations, Moxie, and mead; rather than seek litigation through their Royal Majesties. We do not wish to prevail upon that kindness for any longer than necessary.

Testimony from the beset upon ship’s crew tell us that the pirates spoke with a very distinctive Carolingian accent. Many people also made note of how their Excellencies Carolingia found themselves in possession of two of Stonemarche’s sheep during their Majesties Court during the Aisles of Marche. When confronted, their Excellencies claimed their innocence, that they had been framed!

 We would ask the populace of the kingdom: Who would benefit from framing the Carolingians? 

This is not the first time Carolingians have made off with Stonemarche Sheep. They have coveted our livestock and ample parking for well over a generation and Stonemarche will not stand for it. We put aside past grudges during the Plague, but this dishonorable action will not go unmet!

Unless all hundred head of sheep are returned to us, so that we may pay our Noble Cousins Endewearde back, we will have no choice but to take to the field of battle.

All with information deemed relevant, please come forward.

Righteous, Wronged and Awaiting,
Their Excellencies Stonemarche,
Keziah and Deirdre

A Response to the Populace of Carolingia…

Amidst the beautiful spectacle of the Coronation, King Ryouko’jin reminded us that War is coming. In his words, we feel the drumbeat of Pennsic. In the beauty of our Queen Indrakshi we feel the inspiration that will strengthen our resolve. It is pretty heady stuff. It is perhaps because of this that We, Frithuric and Fiore, were surprised to arrive home to allegations of sheep theft rising from the North. These scurrilous allegations must be answered. 

We ask our populace to be patient as we consider our response. Please be vigilant for suspicious activity, I suspect that there are forces trying to frame us. We will not allow this to happen but also ask that you consider well your preparations for the Great Northeastern War. We agree with our Demon King — War is coming. 

I leave you with these sage words from the First Poet of Carolingia, Sugawara no Naeme:

Accusations fly
From Noble Cousins northward
who have lost Their sheep
while our pastures may be green
the wooly beasts are not here

It seems Your sheep have gone astray
Your shepherds can not find them
And so You come to Us to say
we think you may have found them
It’s true our pastures are much greener
than those further north
But Our shepherds are more careful
and lose nothing of such worth
Our flocks have no additions
We’ve counted more than twice
but if Your sheep do wander in
We’ll return them without vice

Al Suo Servizio,

Baronessa Fiore Leonetta Bardi
Barony of Carolingia, East Kingdom

And a Final Response from Their Excellencies Carolingia


The foibles and quarrels of thy betters have brought you to the brink of

Their Excellencies Stonemarche, Keziah and Deirdre, claim that the Sheep
they sent to Endewearde were beset by Carolingian pirates!  CALUMNY!
Smearing the reputation of one of the oldest and finest Baronies in our
fair Kingdom!  Clearly, Baron Keziah is jealous of the fame and
reputation of her counterpart, Frithuric of Carolingia.  Or perhaps
covering up the truth: she never REALLY sent those Sheep to Endewearde at
all!  More likely, she sold them to a third party to repay her own gambling debts!

At the same time, Their Excellencies Carolingia, Frithuric and Fiore,
make claim that they are victims of a fabrication with evil intent! But
though they deny having said Sheep so forcefully, yet they seem to know
the exact number of Sheep that are missing, and taunt their neighbors to
the North with the words of poets and scoundrels! HUBRIS! When all
know of Baron Frithuric’s history of pirateering, not to mention Fiore’s
taste for mutton!

This state of affairs CAN NOT STAND!

Now only battle will this clash resolve
So prithee, gentles, pledge thy loyalty
Ere one more day should see the Sun revolve
Commit thyself, and choose most carefully!
The Fate of Baron, Baroness, and Sheep
Depend upon thy will and vigilance
Take up thine arms! Be not enmesh'd in sleep!
Or overtaken by ambivalence!
The cause shall be, much like the final score,
Decided at the Great Northeastern War!

With Great Thanks from all for our story to Baron Keziah Planchet, and Rhonwen glyn Conwy, on behalf of i Sebastiani (the Greatest Commedia dell’Arte Troupe in the Entire World!), Performing Arts Champions, Carolingia; and Their Excellencies Carolingia, Their Excellencies Stonemarche, and Their Excellencies Endewearde for helping set up our game in Our Fair Province of Malagentia, Last of the Great Independents, and Land of the Bad People who treat sheep very kindly indeed.